Wednesday, December 31, 2014

End of Year...

2014 coming to the end.

It has been a very very busy year (busy for nothing!?)  read back my blog (with very few entries), and highlights from various FB year end review, i'm glad some of my big plan (like my US) trip realized, small plan like getting more involved in the community is achieving step by step, another happy (in a nutshell) year with Elvin (LOL), and feeling loved throughout the year.

It has been a rough year, especially the 2nd half of the year, getting myself more and more aware and involved of what's happening in the political side of our daily life.  It's very sad to look back, and the current setting for our future, but I also feel like i'm so engaged and it's no way of return.  I never intentionally get up to the very front, without the bravery and guts to be frank, but i'm glad, in times like this i am here in a place call home. 

still call home, for now, and together, with a bunch of buddies who share similar values keeping an eye on my back, making sure I RAN away from tear gas, or guarding me against nonsense violence-abusive police.

I'm grateful, and feel being loved.

with different priorities in life, ppl around "selection" also have a twist, i guess, just like many others in HK.  it's not only about political stand point, but i think, in general, is one's priority and value of life.  As Chinese said, it is different to keep a conversation if 2 don't share the same beliefs.  I think as we grow older we just be a lot more selective who's around and whom to spend time with.

Afterall, we ain't young and don't have the luxury to spend limited time with those who don't treasure us as much as we treasure them....  I am grateful, being loved by sis's in Hawaii, friends in HK, my MBA buddies, my ASAT ex-colleagues, and of coz, my dear friends in US, and many others, who made my 2014 a colorful one.  Although I only have ONE birthday cake this year (and u know this make you 2 so special in my life!).  I also feel very loved for those who came all the way from different areas to just to meet up, a marvelous birthday weekend, and all the tailor made Christmas cards, not to mention, 2 wonderful meal at Jamie's Oliver ;-)

Grateful for 2014.  I hope, 2015 will be a better year.

and i really like watermelon's pict for this year's 903,  seeing this you're the one who came in my mind.  Yes, missing you, even now, yes even though we did meet up in the last day of 2014.  Things moved so quickly old mistake seems to repeat again, heart over head in a nutshell.  All i wanna do now is to enjoy the moment.  At the end no one can guarantee anything, why not at least create some good memories? I want to say thanks, for the positive impact you've given me - even though u're not the only, nor the first one to suggest, but I did take a step and had a dinner w/ my dad, after more than a decade since we did last time.  Thanks, for keeping me company when i was bored during road trip at work, or just being there having a McDonald's sundae together at 3 am after leaving Admiralty Harcourt Road.  All these, I'll never forget in my life, or i should say, I will make sure i won't forget all the details, like few years back.

I don't know how our relationship is heading, but for now, i'm thankful having you back in my life again, and because of you, I feel like I'm a better person (in my perspective anyway).  I hope, in the coming year, we can count down together, and many more to come 
西瓜
我喜歡「想」字,所以在今年的歌曲中,我特別喜歡馮允謙的《我好想你》。這句讓我很膽怯不敢說出的話,讓我可以偷偷在唱歌同時放進自己的心情。開心又糾結,是這句話包含的心情,也是2014年給我的感覺。2015年又會變得怎樣呢?先總結2014年再一齊走吧!

Thursday, December 25, 2014

拾回當天的「我」。。。

曾幾何時,我也以為我已忘了那時候的「我」.... 誰知最近又pick up 了當天的「我」... Orz
《某時候的「我」》鄺俊宇

某年的今天,你在哪?跟那位誰在一起,跟那位誰分開了,跟那位誰剛重遇?

秋來冬往,每當氣溫一驟降,回憶總喜歡往後退,搜索那毎好像還在,又好像已走失了的自己,「我」到哪裡去了?

那個「我」,那個曾經很思念某個人的「我」,那個曾經在愛情裡苦苦掙扎的「我」,那個很想去補救遺憾的「我」,那個「我」,到哪裡去了?

以為最懂自己的人,是自己,卻發現從來最口不對心的人,也是自己,當我們以為已經很了解自己,卻發現,真正了解你另一個「我」,是某個人。

他很懂你的所有,就連你不懂的,他也懂,為什麼呢?因為這個人曾有好一段時間陪在你身旁,照顧很需要依賴的你,他很用心,了解這個略麻煩的人,然後把細微,一一記在心裡。

然後,你很記得這個人,就算已失去他,但你更記住這個人,留不住,從來都最記得住,某年今日,他仍在身邊;但今夕何年,他失散途中。

不只是他不見了,就連那時候喜歡他的「我」,也彷若失散,那麼是代表我放下了這個人?

不,你知道的,你不會承認已放下這個人,只是你一直苦苦逃避,努力讓自己不記起,不回想,與其說你忘記了他,倒不如說你忘了那時候的「我」。

那個不能失去他的「我」。

結果來到今年這一天,你安好,他也安好,只是兩人從此不擁抱,你終領悟,沒了誰,但我們仍能呼吸,仍可生存,就算你失去他,忘了那時候的「我」。

但是,你沒失去成長了的自己。

他很好,真的,他真的很好,那麼就讓他繼續活在某年的今日,那時候的「我」並沒有消失,「我」是你,是陪著你成長的人。

>感謝你,繼《愛你,若只如初見》,《有一種幸福叫忘記》後,鄺俊宇第三部愛情散文作品《數到三,就放手》,正式登陸全香港書店,思念像光線,閉上眼也看得見。

ig:「kwongchunyu」